What I Gave Up for Happiness

Happiness is a choice you make, and sometimes you have to change things to find it.

They say change is good. It’s especially a good thing when the change you make brings a newfound happiness.

What’s funny is that this level of joy has always been available to me, but I was just too distracted.

You may or may not know about my recent medical trauma. Long story short – a mass was found in my breast and I had surgery to remove it.

I thank heaven the dreaded thing was benign, but the entire ordeal was awful and scary from beginning to end, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Now my story continues…

The first thing to know is that in my new self discovery, I’ve changed profoundly. I complain about nothing these days, which is new. It’s laughable now when I think about the silly little things that used to ignite complaints in me. There’s something about certain experiences that just wake you up and make you realize how precious this life is every day.

You don’t get to choose what wakes you up, but sometimes if you’re lucky, something actually does. I feel endlessly grateful that the mass was benign, and the whole journey was in fact, my wake up call. At 41 years old, I finally get it, and I find pure joy in simply being present.

Don’t worry. I’m not gonna start getting all kum-ba-yah or anything, but I have definitely found inner peace.

What’s funny is that this kind of reminds me of when I was a kid. I was less distracted. We all were. I mean, obviously we didn’t have smartphones, Netflix, all the music streaming options, and basically everything that gives us all ADD and what not, so it was easier to just enjoy the time that was currently presenting itself. Even the not so great moments were real, and you truly felt them. We literally just had to deal and live in that moment, good or bad, without a phone to cause distraction.

Fast forward to the present. Here are just a few of the things I’ve been doing in my life that have already made a big difference and brought a new happiness with it. Sometimes, change really IS good.

I AM NO LONGER MARRIED TO MY PHONE
It’s not complicated or anything. It’s just more like a separation now. I used to be phone obsessed and I blame it on IG, but you guys know what I mean. I’ve been giving my phone a rest to look around, breathe in the moments, and just have a silly ass time (which is pretty much my favorite thing to do, like ever)!  Que chevere…

READ
It’s no secret that I’m a book lover. I always read. But in the last few weeks, instead of wasting my time wallowing in my sadness or being scared, I got lost in books. I’ve read some pretty good ones too! It’s funny how getting caught up in my dark and twisty novels, I can easily forget about my own drama. On another note, my son has become a great reader too! It’s become somewhat of a “family affair” to read my son a book every night, or have him read to us. We’ve always taken turns reading a story, but lately, we’re all together, if possible. It’s so precious to sit in my son’s bed together and listen to the sound of his voice reading, learning and growing every day. I cherish each moment now more than ever. I no longer think about the clean up I may have to do in the kitchen later, or what shows I have on my DVR waiting for me.

BUY FLOWERS
Getting flowers from someone who cares absolutely touches my heart every time. What is it about fresh flowers that really brighten up a room and just make people happy? I had a lot of love, and flowers given to me during my recovery, and it felt so nice. But you know what I’m doing a lot of these days? I don’t need someone to buy them for me all the time. They make me happy and I deserve that, so guess what? When the old ones are wilted, I buy my own damn flowers. Instant happiness!

STOP PHUBBING (Phone Snubbing)
I’ve been guilty of it myself, but that’s all in the past now. There is nothing more important than the person in front of me sharing their time. I make a lot more eye contact now too and I feel so connected to people. There’s probably nothing that makes me cringe more than seeing two people sitting together in a restaurant and both on their phones! I mean, que pendejada es eso?!

ENJOY THE SILENCE
Don’t get me wrong. Every now and again, I love my music loud, and I love a good rowdy party, but not all the time. I used to always have something on to distract me or keep me busy (background noise). Lately when I have moments alone, I find myself straight up enjoying the silence, and that includes time off from my phone. I’m naturally an extrovert, so when I need “me” time, I lay low and allow myself to unplug. It’s nice. You should try it.

NAMASTE, BITCHES
I just started practicing yoga and I feel so relaxed and renewed, which is perfect for my body during this time in my life. I’ll get back to my badass kickboxing, but for now, this is what works for my body. And because exercise is a great natural medicine, it’s gonna help my body feel good, and get my energy levels up. This all equals a GOOD MOOD. I know my body & soul will thank me later.

BE FRIENDLY, BRING JOY
This isn’t really a change because I’ve always been like this. Especially if we make eye contact, I’m that stranger who will randomly smile and say hello. It costs nothing to be nice. When you smile, you make someone else smile, and it makes you feel so so good. Easiest part of my daily life by far.

STOP COMPLAINING
Ok, so here’s the thing. I sprung back into my normal routine of life and realized that it doesn’t help anyone whatsoever to complain about a damn thing. First, no one cares. And second, it doesn’t change anything. So, as part of my newfound self-discovery, I’m no longer complaining. I’m taking action to make things better in the world around me. I’m appreciating people more, and I’m grateful for all things big and small.

JUST SAY YES!
I’m keeping an open mind and heart, and I’m saying YES to new experiences, now more than ever!

In a way, I feel like there’s part of me that was starting to see things more clearly last year when I wrote Social Media. Finding Balance but I still had to go through this experience for me to finally get it. And well damn. I’m pretty proud of myself for finally getting it…

While my blog and social media activity will continue, you may not see me as often on the gram. I choose my personal happiness and health first. Life is good, and I will be soaking up every moment and giving myself the best gift of all – pure joy and genuine happiness by simply being present.

These are the good old days, mi gente, and I don’t wanna miss a thing!

Next up for me and my family – the City of Angels…stay tuned…

Who am I kidding? You know I won’t be able to help myself with pix on the gram (shrug)…we’ll see…

xo Karen